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Happy September, Poets
It's the first Poetry Friday of the month -- which means our poet-author-publisher friends, Sylvia Vardell and Janet Wong, are hosting our round-up at Poetry for Children.
And...Sunday Night Swaggers are sharing responses to a poem challenge.
Our challenge this month comes from Catherine. She presented photos of a sampling of boxes and asked us to write from one or more of the photos.
I chose...
 |
| Box Top from Catherine |
 |
| boxes inside boxes from Catherine |
Box Poem
I have a box
it has four sides
a top
a bottom
with stories inside.
If you lift the top
It’s blank and dark
cardboard walls
fold around
a hollow box-heart.
Peer closer still
Can you see?
this box has
possibilities--
to hold wishes
or candies
or candies
secret love notes
bottle caps, rocks
knock-knock jokes
I have a box
it has four sides
a top
a bottom
with stories inside.
(c) Linda Mitchell
Which do you like better-- haibun or the rhyming poem?
Take a peek at more Sunday Night Swagger Box Poems
-Catherine at Reading to the Core -Margaret at Reflections on the Teche -Molly at Nix the Comfort Zone
-Heidi at My Juicy Little Universe
Take a peek at more Sunday Night Swagger Box Poems
-Catherine at Reading to the Core -Margaret at Reflections on the Teche -Molly at Nix the Comfort Zone
-Heidi at My Juicy Little Universe
I love the haibun, Linda, a start to a story to love, that growing up, or someone with a secret that will open up Justin's life he never imagined. But, I also love the ending of that second one, "a top
ReplyDeletea bottom
with stories inside." What a fun challenge Catherine set!
You know I love your skill at haibuns. This one is dear to my heart as I foresee Gran camp in my future.
ReplyDeleteI love both of these. Summer has been way too short, and the second reminds us in a loving way of the immense possibility each of us has. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThat's not a fair question. I love them both!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed them both. I did like Haibun more. The poem is very good but I'm always a sucker for story and I feel like haibun sets up some interesting characters and family dynamics. Lots of potential there.
ReplyDeleteBoth are wonderful, Linda! I love "each box holds stories / yours inside mine inside more." Love the thought it provoked, that my stories are in my kids and grandkids... and theirs are in me.
ReplyDeleteI love the haibun, Linda. It feels like the beginning of a longer story. (And reminds me of a poet friend's version of Grandma Camp -- Camp Gigi.)
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed both poems, Linda. It's nice to see a haibun -- a wonderful form that PF folks don't seem to share very often. And the idea of story boxes is so rich with possibilities. :)
ReplyDeleteI love both, too! From the first, I was especially struck by:
ReplyDeleteeach box holds stories
yours inside mine inside more
and the second, by
this box has
possibilities--
and all the possibilities!
I agree that the haibun opens possibilities for more! It feels like the beginnings of a short story. The closing haiku holds so much and I love the wistful last line. In the Box Poem, I love "hollow box-heart!"
ReplyDeleteE*ually I love them: the contrast of the fullness of the haibun's story and the haiku's pinpoint summary of the relationship, and the specifics of what might be in the story box. Glad the boxes inspired you so! (Also you win the prize for first poster this week!)
ReplyDeleteI think they are both special poems with very different rhythms and journeys. I like the spunkiness of your second poem and the story, that may beg for more in the first, thanks Linda!
ReplyDeleteLinda, thanks for being FIRST to join our Poetry Friday gathering! This is so lovely-- full of character and heart. And your fellow poets offer such beautiful feedback too!
ReplyDeleteI always enjoy your haibuns, Linda! You create such a rich field for the final haiku to play on. Your second poem is beautifully structured (the repetition of the first stanza for the ending is perfect!) and I love the phrase "hollow box-heart" and the optimism of all those possibilities.
ReplyDeleteLike many others, I love both of these, Linda. There is sooo much potential in your haibun. I can't wait to see where that takes you! And yes, summer is too short. I also love the playfulness of your second poem, and the possibilities: what will this "hollow box-heart" hold? Well done!
ReplyDeleteNope, can't choose which I like better - I love both of them. I want to hear more of Justin's story. You had me hooked from the first line. And I love the possibilities in the poem. Maybe this is why I'm such a sucker for boxes and jars of all kinds.
ReplyDeleteI like them both, but the box poem really stuck with me! The idea of all the possibilities that a box holds makes me happy!
ReplyDeleteI make a poor judge - awarding a box of intriguing boxes to each of these creative gems.
ReplyDeleteYou. Are. Outstanding!
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ReplyDeleteI love the haibun, Linda. You clearly have some real skill at writing engaging prose, then the haiku at the end is like icing on the cake! I sure hope you've got a MG novel going in all your "spare time". Maybe it can even be a "haibun style" novel in verse...? Seriously, you should think about it if you haven't already, Linda.
ReplyDeleteLinda, I was totally engrossed in your haibun with its great blend of fiction and poetry. I agree with Michelle that a draft must be in the working. Still have to find the time to call you.
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