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Hello Poets,
Except for a little sogginess, I'm still reveling in May, glorious May! Just look at these dogwood blossoms.
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| My friendly neighborhood dogwood blossoms...mmmmmm. |
Last week I received a bumper crop of clunker lines from all of you wonderful poets! Thank you. Since Patricia is hosting our round-up this weekend at Reverie, I thought I'd play with her clunker line. It was a toughie. But, after a few mornings playing I came up with trinet (Thank you, Alan W. for introducing me to that form.
Original line: "hidden progress runs deep" Patricia Franz.
My re-working:
Trinet (Seven lines long. Lines 1, 2, 5, 6, 7 are two words long. Lines 3 & 4 both have 6 words)
All arms
digging, slinging
beneath the surface of what’s seen
your hidden progress runs sea-deep
rocky cave
Welcome home
octopus asleep
Linda Mitchell 5/17/24
Oh, and a Skinny just for funsies.
Sometimes progress hides -- runs deep
under
the
rocks
and
under
the
creek
whistling
under
a dark bridge -- progress running deep
Linda Mitchell 5/17/24
Thank you, Patricia!
There is a tiny new WORLD poem for this week.
Spinning straw into gold, Linda! You found a way to make those words shine! I love that octopus working out of sight, in the deeps. But your skinny is evocative -- that hidden carving of water that goes on out of sight. Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteLinda, how fun! I can see you really thought about that hidden progress line and came up with two winners. I like it. "Under" is a great repeating word for your skinny, showing the depth. I loved imagining the octopus "All arms / digging, slinging" Well played. I enjoyed writing a clunker poem this week too.
ReplyDeleteSo glad the Trinet carried your chosen line, Linda. The octopus is so well represented in those seven lines. Like how you used Patricia's line in two different forms. I have nestled the clunker line you generously offered, into a poem this week, so thank you for the gift of words.
ReplyDeleteYou've worked wonders with that line, Linda! I can envision the octopus at work in both poems. Thanks again for the clunker idea - I used one in my post this week.
ReplyDeleteI'm still fiddling with the clunker I borrowed. You made two glasses of sweet lemonade with Patricia's clunker! (And I think I'll take a page from your process book and try dropping ideas into form after form after form to see what I come up with!)
ReplyDeleteI love how you transform what was thought to be a clunker into something beautiful with maybe a few tweaks. "hidden progress runs sea-deep."
ReplyDeleteLove what you did, Linda, especially that you linked the line to octopi! Very clever!
ReplyDeleteDidn't see that octopus coming -- well done!!
ReplyDeleteWell, I love both of them! I love "digging, slinging" because it's fun to say too!
ReplyDeleteYour first poem 'tentickled' me - surprise octopi! And yes to the funsie skinny. Another successful clunker conversion. :)
ReplyDeleteI love the mystery of "all arms"--I thought it was idiomatic, until I got to the octopus ending. Fabulous! And your skinny is so true. I've not done anything with my clunker yet, but I will!
ReplyDeleteYou keep proving that there are no clunkers — just words looking for the right home. :)
ReplyDeleteWell done with the clunker poem.
ReplyDelete