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Hello Poets,
I just loved this photo from Margaret Simon's post, 'The Photo Wants to be a Poem' on Wednesday.
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| photo. Margaret Simon |
I wrote a draft...but then, I didn't like it. Whenever that happens, I treat the first draft like it's an exercise.
I try to re-write the poem in a few different forms to see if anything fresh surfaces for me.
dragon heat sweep sweeps
with this late-night revelry
toss mardi gras beads
Linda Mitchell
My go-to exercises always include haiku and triolet. I've recently added Kwansaba and Elfchen. These short forms give me constraints but a short commitment to the page. They help me revise.
Electric
sequined wings
pink and green
Fire-breathing bead queen
Dragon
What revision strategies do you recommend?
This dragon made an appearance on World's padlet too.
Guess who's hosting our weekly round-up? It's Margaret at Reflections on the Teche. Thanks, friend.
Linda, thank you for sharing both your poems, and the reminder that capturing what we want to say is often difficult . I love the idea of trying different forms to work through that problem and will that to my bag of tricks.
ReplyDeleteBoth poems are lovely, Linda! I enjoyed the assonance in "green
ReplyDeleteFire-breathing bead queen." So fun!
The short forms work well for me, too, but I'm particularly interested in your World poems. These are coming from a deeper place in you. Pointing to peace (my word).
ReplyDeleteI write straight from my gut in that first draft. But I'm a word-pantry junkie and often resort to paper and notebook to find gems that stand out and beg to be worked in. For a long time, a cinquain whet my whistle, but I've strayed away from that. I may have to return ...
ReplyDeleteI love the "Fire-breathing bead queen", Linda! We need many of them this year! As for revising, one thing I often do is choose a line in the middle of my first draft (or two, if rhyming) and start there. It doesn't always help, but sometimes. . .
ReplyDeleteThat *is* a fabulous image. Enjoyed seeing your poems!!
ReplyDeleteLoving that electric bead queen... and the peek into your process! Happy Year of the Dragon, Linda.
ReplyDeleteWonderful Elfchen, Linda. I love the assonance in green, bead, and queen - delicious to say out loud.
ReplyDeleteThe first poem shows action--the second an image as fantastic as the photo.
ReplyDeleteI like these revision tips, Linda. Thanks. I'll have to give them a go. I love difficult vocabulary and that is sometimes hard to deal with in poetry for children. Working on revision through writing different forms on the same topic is something that is new to me. I'll try it. I love the vibrancy of the photo. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI love this idea for revision - just write it in a different form. I love "fire-breathing bead queen." Ruth, thereisnosuchthingasagodforsakentown.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteYour second poem made me feel like I was on the sidewalk watching the parade, Linda.
ReplyDeleteI'm dipping my toe into elfchens... so far I'm loving them! :)
I didn't think I'd be the only one who loves "Fire-breathing bead queen!" My favorite revision strategy is a single line through a draft I don't like, then on to the next draft. I like seeing what I discarded so I can rescue bits if need be.
ReplyDeleteOh yes. I believe I read that Donald Hall rewrote his poems as many as 400 times. So, I just try to be patient, to find the right words. Start again. I think we each must find our own rhythm. Thanks for this... of course I love fire breathing bead queen!
ReplyDelete"Fire-breathing bead queen"--love this!!!! I wish I had a good strategy for revision. I don't have any tried and true methods yet.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteThat is definitely an image begging to be a poem. :) I enjoyed reading your takes on it, Linda. I don't have good revision strategies ... I seem to always just say to myself, "Better, tighter. Better." Ha, not very helpful, is it? :D